this is what love does (love is for children part 1)
by neverephemeral
Summary: Unrequited love hurts worse when something happens between the person you're in love with and yourself... or at least that's what Darcy thought. (Darcy/Natasha)


**Hey everyone! I hope you all enjoyed your holidays! :) I had always enjoyed the idea of Darcy/Natasha together and because I haven't seen a lot of stories involving them, I decided to write my own. This is the first part of the series 'love is for children.'  
I hope you enjoy! :)**

* * *

 **My mind is blind to everything but you**  
 **And I wonder if you wonder about me too  
-** _Wonder by Lauren Aquilina_

 **U** nrequited love hurts worse when something happens between the person you're in love with and yourself… or at least that's what Darcy thought. _It had to be her,_ she thought. _My heart just had to choose her of all people._ Darcy has always considered herself not straight for her sexuality. She has always found herself to be attracted to both men and women but she's never defined herself. She's never felt that she had to. Jane and Eric knew about her having a past with women; past meaning more than just one night stands or experimenting. Not that there was anything wrong with that, it just wasn't Darcy's style. Up until this moment; moment being exactly three months ago today, Darcy never considered her sexuality.

However, as of now, Darcy considered her sexuality a certain Avenger by the code name Black Widow. She was seriously going to put Natasha Romanov as her answer for her sexuality if anyone asked. Not once in her life had she ever felt this way about another human being. Darcy knew what the feelings were that she had for the red haired woman.

She was falling in love.

 _She_ , Darcy Lewis, was falling in love with _her_ , Natasha Romanov; also knows as the Black Widow.

It wasn't even the fact that she was a woman because again, Darcy had been with women; it was the fact that it wasn't just any woman. It was one of the most badass, out-of-her-league woman she had ever met in her life.

It was because she was falling in love with Natasha that Darcy was acting the way she was now. When you fall in love with someone, actually fall in love, you begin to change how you act. Of course, because she hadn't felt this way about anyone before, Eric and Jane were unaware that she was falling in love with someone.

Darcy didn't blame them.

When you're falling in love with someone, especially an Avenger, you begin to worry about their well being. Darcy found herself tagging along with Jane to meetings when the Avengers had them, just to find out first hand the status of things like missions or possible missions. She would find out if Natasha was going to be sent on a mission. As of right now, she was trying to keep herself distracted because Natasha and Clint were currently out on a mission and they were due back any day now.

Darcy was counting down the minutes and keeping herself occupied with helping Jane, Eric and sometimes Bruce, in the lab. While also trying to keep herself from throwing up from anxiety for every second that there's no news about her want-to-be Avenger lover.

Another thing that you do is that you take any chance to see them. Reason number one that Darcy goes to the meetings, so that she can see the other woman. Sometimes she even lurks outside of the gym to see Natasha work out or maybe accidentally run into her. Also when Bruce is the one working in the lab, she hangs around there because she knows that the red haired woman will stop by eventually. Same as visiting Tony's lab; and to visit Tony too but that's besides the point.

When you don't have a chance to see them, you make up a reason to see them. Which is why Darcy did all those things in the first place.

As you're out around town, like shopping, you begin to notice things that they'll like or makes you think of them. Darcy can't remember ever seeing Romanov have red roses but the other day she saw a bouquet of gorgeous blood red roses and she thought about Natasha. For some reason Darcy thinks she would be a single rose type of woman. Then again Darcy thought about pulling a Morticia Addams and cutting off the head of the rose and just giving her the stem.

 _Perhaps,_ Darcy thought.

* * *

You begin to notice details about them that you hadn't noticed before. Natasha, Darcy noticed, always has to know where all exits are and she always seems to have one foot out the door already. She knows that it's because of her training but she thinks there's more to it than that. Sometimes, when they're talking about certain things, Natasha will stare off, deep in thought. It's usually Clint that brings her back and Darcy finds herself a little jealous at Clint's relationship with her.

No matter what the season, Natasha always uses peppermint chap stick when she needs it.

She uses red apple body wash and when she uses body lotion, it's usually cinnamon. Darcy now buys red apple or cinnamon candles so that her apartment will smell like the deadly assassin.

 _She just smells amazing,_ Darcy thought, smiling at the thought of her nose pressed lightly against the other woman's neck. _Amazing._

"Darcy?"

She shook her head, coming back from her NC-17 rated thoughts, and focused on Bruce standing in front of her. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yep, totally, why?"

Bruce raised his brow, "because I've been trying to get your attention for the past 10 minutes. You were off in another world."

"Oh yeah," Darcy shook her head, "no, no I'm good. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Mhm," she nodded.

Bruce nodded, "so you're done looking over the file I gave you?"

"Yes."

"You didn't open it."

Darcy looked down, and realized that she didn't even move the file away from the place that Bruce had set it down in front of her. "I knew that."

"Darcy," Bruce placed his tablet down on the table, giving his full attention to the younger woman.

"I'm fine, Bruce, really," Darcy waved her hand, "don't worry about it."

"I'm here to talk," Bruce said, "it's obviously not anything."

Darcy sighed. She trusted Bruce and she had talked to him about a lot of things, with him talking to her in return. It seemed to be that when either of them needed to have a deep, meaningful conversation, they came to each other.

"Do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Of course," he nodded.

It was silent for a moment.

"I'm falling in love… with a _woman_..."

"Red haired?"

Darcy looked at him dumbfounded, "how the hell-?"

"I'm observant," Bruce shrugged.

"Oh geeze!" Darcy hid her warming face in her hands. If Bruce had noticed that she had begun to develop feelings for the assassin that means that the rest of the team knew too. "Fuck."

"I don't think the rest of the team noticed, Darce," Bruce added quickly. "I'm just extra observant."

Darcy groaned.

"I don't think Natasha noticed, if that helps."

Darcy spread her fingers apart to look at him, "she knows."

"She knows?"

"Pretty sure she knows that I have some feelings for her," Darcy said, "just don't think she knows I'm falling in love… or at least I hope she doesn't."

"Why do you think she knows?" Bruce asked. "She hasn't mentioned anything to me."

Darcy winced. _Ouch._ That hurt a little that Natasha didn't talk to Bruce about them.

"Was that the wrong to say?" Bruce asked. He stared at her for a moment. "Was she suppose to mention it to me?"

Darcy looked down at the unopened file and shrugged.

"Darcy, did something happen between the two of you?" Bruce asked.

"Well, you see, Dr. Banner," Darcy began to play with her fingers, "I've kind of been having feelings for the resident assassin for some time now and about three months ago, she and I, may or may not have shared a passionate kiss."

"Oh."

"Oh?" Darcy looked at him.

"I'm processing this information," he replied.

"Same," Darcy nodded.

Bruce snorted at Darcy's answer and shook his head. "So, you're in love with her?"

"I think so," Darcy answered after a moment.

"Why do you sound so heart broken over this notion?"

"Because she's way out of my league. I'm not..." she shook her head.

"Darcy, you're beautiful," Bruce offered her a gentle smile. "She's not out of your league."

"Thanks," she laughed gently.

"There's something else."

Darcy sighed, "it may also be because I've fallen in love with someone who said and I quote: 'love is for children.'"

"Oh, Darce," Bruce reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "that was a different time back then."

"Yeah," Darcy said softly, "yeah."

* * *

She knew that Natasha hadn't changed her mind about that and she knew by the way Bruce was looking at her and squeezing her hand that he wasn't completely sold on the idea either. She knew that he had said that to try and comfort her. When his phone went off, Darcy knew that it meant that Barton and Natasha had arrived back home.

"No injuries," Bruce said, looking up from his phone, "Natasha and Clint are okay."

"Good," Darcy smiled as the knots in her stomach loosened. "That's really good."

"Do you-"

"I'm actually going to go back to my apartment," Darcy said, "maybe I'll see her on my way up."

Bruce didn't call her out on the fact that she was leaving to avoid seeing Natasha in the elevator or in the hallways and she appreciated that. Darcy just couldn't see anyone at the moment and he understood that.

When you're in love with someone and you know or think that they don't feel the same way, you listen to one song on repeat for hours while laying on the ground, in bed or on the couch as you cry thinking about them.

Darcy preferred curling up into a ball in her bed, song on repeat and cry herself to sleep.

* * *

 _ **Thank you for reading! :) I hope you enjoyed it!  
Remember to check out my main profile page to follow along with the series!**_

 _ **-K xo.**_


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